JD and I attended the FSA Utah Regional Conference this past weekend at the LDS Institute at the University of Utah. The timing was impeccable for us, answered questions we had and didn't know we had and put our minds at ease (or at least mine) about concerns I had. This is such an amazing group to be a part of and JD and I decided at the end of the conference that we would be willing to volunteer to help however we could to help with the conference next year.
The conference took place all day Friday and Saturday and while we were able to attend many great sessions and learn from some amazing people that have much more experience in the adoption world than we do. While I loved everything we learned I think I loved most just being able to spend a couple of days together just the two of us focusing on something that is really important to us.
There were so many great workshop sessions that sometimes we had to divide and conquer so we could get the most out of our time. The first day was mostly spent that way. I attended the following sessions " Making Open Adoptions Work", Managing Stress, and Foster Care information session. JD attended "Open vs. Closed Adoption", "Answering Children's Questions about Adoption" and "Foster Care information.
The last workshop of the day on Friday we went to together called "The Dance of Adoption" It was by far our favorite of the day. It was taught by Kevin Theriot who has worked for LDS Family Services since 1979. He was hilarious but also VERY informative. He used the analogy of a car accident to explain what a single pregnant woman is doing when making a decision what to do with her pregnancy.
Essentially she is watching a child, her child, walk out into a street and she sees a car racing towards the child. She has 4 choices at that point- 1) let the child get hit by the car (abortion), 2) if the child's father is involved they jump in front of the car and try to hold together and protect the child (marriage). Although he mentioned that the stress of an unplanned pregnancy can typically cause the relationship to fail. 3) The single pregnant woman jumps in front of the car to protect the child (single parenting) and 4) The single pregnant woman jumps in front of the car and pushes the child to safety out of the street and she gets hit by the car. (adoption). He said in the last example that this young woman is waiting for a couple to be standing on the sidewalk ready to "catch" the baby and protect it.
She wants to make sure we will "catch" the baby.
It was like a light bulb went off in my head when I heard that. As excited as we want an expectant parent to be about us, picking us, "catching" her child she needs to know we feel the same way about her.
Friday night we enjoyed a yummy dutch oven dinner by The Dutch Oven Shoppe. Seriously I need to learn how to cook in a dutch oven because it is always so good. Baked chicken, BBQ pork, dutch oven potatoes with some carrots mixed in, baked beans and of course a delish peach cobbler. YUM!!
Saturday we spent most of the day together during the workshop sessions. The day started with a birthmother panel. Such sweet girls and I'm so glad we got to hear from them. They just confirmed again what we learned at the last session on Friday- they were as anxious to have their adoptive couples like them as we are to have an expectant parent love us. We always love birth parent panels and appreciate those that are willing to share their stories with us. They had a raffle just before the birth mother panel and JD won an adoption t-shirt from The "R" House Couture. I have been drooling over these t-shirts for awhile and was so excited his number was drawn. :)
We were so disappointed in the first workshop session. It was called "Educating Family and Friends on Adoption". We were hoping for pointers on how to best help our family and friends understand the process and how we came to the decision to adopt...big FAIL. While the presenters had experience as a birth mother and adoptive mother what they "taught" I could have done. The information they shared was exactly one of the sheets we received at our first meeting at LDS Family Services. As we looked through the classes offered later we were even more disappointed to realize that we missed out on a birth father panel. We will make sure to pick better next year.
The second session we decided to divide and conquer which was really hard for me because I was really looking forward to hearing from Lindsey Redfern from the R House but JD went to her session called "Advocating Adoption" and I went to a workshop titled "Nurturing Relationships". We were both really happy with what we learned during this session. JD and I actually met one of the presenters of my workshop, Shari Guess. She presented with her son's birth mom, Susan Fenton. They did a great job telling us about how they have build their relationship over nearly 10 years and taught about respecting each other boundries and realizing that our level of openness may not always be the same. They also talked about placement gifts that both Shari and her husband gave Susan and also gifts that Susan gave to their son. They also had a woman from Blessings in a Basket talk about her business. She is a birth mom that started her business after placing her own baby years ago. Awesome idea and she does a retreat for a group called Big Tough Girls...LOVE IT! Lots of good ideas!
The final session of the day we went to a workshop where they had a lawyer come in and talk about Utah adoption laws. It was was interesting and again we had questions answered we never knew we had but we are glad they are now answered. Thank you David Hardy for your insight and knowledge!
The final keynote address was nothing short of spectacular! Susan Fenton was excellent as the musical guest. I am going to try and get in contact with her to find out the names of the songs she sang because they were all very appropriate for adoption (of course). Meg Johnson was nothing short of AMAZING!! Meg fell off a cliff and broke her neck 8 years ago. She has such a bright spirit, voice and message. She was truly inspired to share the stories she did while addressing our conference and I'm so glad she was there. I wish I would have had the courage to ask for a picture with her after the conference but I did have the courage to go up and talk to her and I'm so glad I did. Just being next to her made me feel like I could overcome anything. I hope I have the privilege of hearing her speak again sometime. If you need a little inspiration visit her website at www.megjohnsonspeaks.com
We LOVED our weekend and everything we learned. We have some big news to share so stay tuned for our next blog post...you won't be sorry!
With love,
JD and Melissa
