Roller Coaster

Last Tuesday I went in for a blood test to find out if our second IUI was successful. The blood draw was at 8:15 in the morning but I didn't get a call until nearly 5. It was an agonizing day to say the least. I'm almost glad that there was a delay in getting the call because J.D. was home when I did get the call. The test was positive...good news, right!? Unfortunately there was a but attached to that positive blood test and that was that the levels were lower than they would like to see so I needed to come back in two days and have other blood test.
Thursday I went in again at 8:15 for the blood draw and this time the hCG numbers they are monitoring did double like they wanted them to but they wanted me to come back on Monday (today) for another test.
I just got the call that the levels didn't at least double so I need to go back on Wednesday for another blood draw.
So this is what the levels look like:
Test 1- 9
Test 2- 20
Test 3- 33.2
The reality is that we could have an ectopic pregnancy which is causing the levels to rise slower than normal or I could have been pregnancy with twins and lost one and my body is recovering so it is rising slower (that is what the MA suggested may be the problem today). I just read a statistic online that stated that 85% of pregnancies have hCG levels that rise like they are expected to (which mine aren't) and 15% don't (which is exactly what my levels are doing) but that doesn't mean it isn't a viable pregnancy because they are raising slower but obviously the odds are not in our favor. Besides the hCG levels not rising appropriately I haven't had any other symptoms that are listed for ectopic pregnancies which I am grateful for but I really wish we knew what was going on and why. I asked the MA today that called with the results if there is every a viable pregnancy with numbers that are this low and she said it isn't likely but it can still happen. I am hoping beyond hope that my body and this baby can prove her wrong and everything will be ok.

I have been having some pregnancy symptoms so I am trying to be positive and hopeful. J.D. said he feels like everything is going to be ok. I am relying on his faith that everything will be ok because if I don't I fall apart and all I can do is cry. I appreciate all of the prayers and support. While this isn't easy I know it would be much harder without your prayers and support. I know I need to be grateful that at the very least we were able to get pregnant- that was a huge hurdle for us- and maybe I still am and everything will be ok. I know there are people that try for many more years than we have tried to have a baby but to be honest I don't care about that right now I only know how I feel and this roller coaster ride sucks. I don't like it and I just keep asking why not even one part of all of this can be easy.
My last request is if you read this and have contact with other people we may know please don't share what is going on. I believe it is our right to share information of this sort with people we want to share it with- one of the many reasons we have a private blog. Thank you again for your continued prayers on our behalf and for honoring this request.

Until next time...