I have been fairly vocal about our struggle with infertility beyond our blog. The most specific details are here but I have made comments on Facebook as well. I posted the following on Facebook about a week ago...
I wasn't expecting an response but I got an email from a woman I grew up with. She was so kind and open about the struggle that she and her husband had for the first 10 years of their marriage. She had heard all of the "helpful hints" that anyone that is trying to have a baby will hear and she had gone through the treatments we are going through right now. She gave me some truly helpful advice and reminded me of some things that I needed. One of the most important things I took from her email was that our parents raised us to be strong individuals and to solve our own problems. Infertility is something that I can't solve on my own and I need to rely on Heavenly Father and remember that He loves me. She gave me such great advice to improve myself spiritually, physically and to strengthen our marriage and get as much education as possible while we are waiting and trying.
I can't express enough gratitude for the blessing it was to receive that email when I did. I know I am loved by many and I feel the comfort of the prayers that have been offered on our behalf. In reality I don't want prayers that we will get pregnant as much as prayers that we will be able to accept the will of the Father in this process and we will get what we need to from the experience.
Infertility is such a personal struggle but I have learned from this that it is ok to speak up and share your experience with others it breaks down barriers and it makes it possible to help others.
Last weekend was our stake conference. I had been praying that I would hear something at conference that would help me to know that Heavenly Father was aware of me and the concerns that I have right now. President Bowen spoke first and talked about marriage and family being a key part of Heavenly Father's plan. He gave five points to help strength our marriages.
1- Put Christ first in my marriage
2-Substitute selfishness with sacrifice.
3- Show respect for others feelings.
4-Thou shalt love thy husband/wife with all thy heart.
He spoke about lust defiling the greatest gift we can give in this live...love.
5- Come ye out of Babylon- live the standards and morals that God has revealed.
Great advice and things I needed to hear. I was overcome with gratitude as I sat there and listened to this talk and realized how J.D. does each of these things. I couldn't do it without him.
There were many other wonderful talks that followed the same topics of strengthening family relationships. Sunday as President Bowen spoke again I was so grateful for his words. The comment that spoke to my heart the most was we must experience adversity so we can enjoy our happily ever after.
While it may not appear on this blog that I have more going on in my life than simply sitting around wallowing in sorrow and despair I am busy living life and enjoying this time in my life. I am grateful that this is my trial. I am grateful I have been given the opportunity to strengthen my relationship with my Savior and my husband. I don't know what the future holds for us but this I do know... I am loved more than can be measured by earthly standards.
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