I was blog stalking today. I was reading a new blog my friend Deb started and clicked on someone that is following her blog and happened upon this little treasure.
As a read this post and the attached essay, tears were rolling down my cheeks. It describes perfectly the feelings that come with infertility. I have felt these same feelings and spent those three minutes praying that I could will a positive instead of a negative...again! It is true that we often put a happy face on even when our heart is breaking into pieces- again- on the inside. I don't know who the author is, I have never met her but I appreciate her ability to put on paper and openly share these feelings that we deal with and work through (sometime more frequently that we want to) but it seems taboo to express.
Here is the link to the blog post and the essay this woman wrote.
http://nateclarlaw.blogspot.com/2010/01/courage.html
I again can't express enough how grateful I am for the support we have been given by friends and family. I have become very open with our struggle and it is very therapeutic for me to have a place to write about what is going on because I can take a couple of days to work through my feelings before writing them down or write immediately-even if I look back later and realize how irrational I was being at the time. While I wouldn't have picked this trial for J.D. and me, I wouldn't trade it for anything- our marriage is stronger for this trial. We have learned to lean on each other on the hard days. Recently J.D. has started saying he is glad I waited for him- I couldn't imagine going through this with anyone but him...my rock!
Until next time...
No matter what, always remember it's OK for you to be angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed, whatever you want or need to feel. Cry, get it out and say it sucks because it does! Because afterward, I know you will move forward with faith and trust and hope!
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