I've made a decision

I will not let infertility take over my (our) life. I don't want it to be the only thing we talk about or think about when we are together...or apart. I have decided that I want to enjoy our marriage and life beyond our desires to have a child. I yearn for a child to hold in my arms that I can call my own but if that day never comes or is postponed for a longer time than I think is fair, I will trust in a loving Heavenly Father that he knows what is best for our family. I will continue to pray for the opportunity to be a mother in this life and for guidance to help prepare our home when that day comes. I will find joy in this journey and not focus only on what we haven't been blessed with but with those things we have been blessed with.
I was also talking to a friend tonight and she was telling me a story about a family where the father had lost his job. The family had done fasts and prayed continually that he would be able to find a job but this family wasn't paying tithing. They were referred to Doctrine & Covenants 130: 20-21 about following the laws of God to receive his blessings. WOW! It occurred to me when I read these verses that I need to be doing everything I can to obey the laws of God so he can bless me. He loves me more than I can comprehend and His desire is only to bless me with all that I righteously desire but I MUST obey his laws. Thank you friend for this reminder as we talked tonight. Thank you for being the influence that you don't believe that you are. I am so grateful for friends that I can have these conversations with...that give me insight it may have taken me much longer to discover on my own.
I have been reading the past few days the blog of a girl that is my sister's age that is pregnant right now. She is on bed rest because there have been some complications with her pregnancy and they aren't even sure that this baby will make it even with bed rest. I have wept, as I have read her story. This girl has such amazing faith and an unbelievable attitude. She has started blogging each day about things she is grateful for...what a great lesson for me. I must remember to be grateful each day for all of those things that I have been blessed with. Today I am grateful for time. Time to prepare myself for whatever the future holds.
Until next time...