Monday, September 28, 2009

Sharing time

It hit me this morning that I needed to get these feelings off my chest after I read my friend Tara's status of Facebook this morning that she and her husband are expecting baby #3 after five years of unsuccessful fertility treatments and adopting their adorable son two years ago. I am beyond thrilled for Tara and Mike and their pregnancy. I know this is something they have prayed so hard for and I can only think that they were supposed to have Tyson in their home or they wouldn't have had to go through the trial of infertility.

My friend, Holly has inspired me to share my story with all of you out there that read my blog too...I think there are a few anyway. Go to her blog (2friendz1goal.blogspot.com) to read her story and that of a friend of hers that are fighting the same battle that we are facing in our home. I so appreciate Holly because I sent her an email about a month ago asking her about her treatments. etc and she was so open and candid with me. I am so blessed to have so many friends and family that understand the battle and I think we can support each other through this.

So as the title reads I am sharing our struggle with fertility. J.D. and I decided almost immediately that we wanted to try to have kids after we got married. While we were engaged we talked about waiting for awhile but after a trip to my doctor we decided it probably wasn't a good idea to wait...just in case it took us awhile to get pregnant. My doctor's exact words were, " I wouldn't advise you to wait to conceive based on your health conditions and your age." Fantastic! Well as of today we have been married six months and that appointment with the doctor was 2 weeks after we were married.

For those that don't know- which would be most, if not all of those that read this- I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and Insulin Resistance. The two go hand in hand for most people and in this case I am most people. It's almost like one creates the other, which to be perfectly honest SUCKS! We have done 3 treatments of Clomid with no success. Basically, the Clomid is supposed to help me ovulate which I don't do because of PCOS. I faithfully take my temperature every morning and if by some chance I forget my sweet J.D. reminds me to take it. Honestly, I know what it is supposed to show but I fax it to the doctor and he takes a look at it and tells me if it looks like I ovulated or not. After 3 rounds of the medication I'm still not ovulating.

This past month he changed the prescription to Femara, which is what the reproductive endocrinologist that works from his office prescribes if Clomid doesn't work for people, which I am told Clomid usually works. I am also on a drug called Metformin for Insulin Resistance. It appears that for most people Metformin helps them drop weight...not for me. Actually that may not be entirely true- when I was living and working in Arizona I hadn't been taking metformin and when I started taking it I lost 30 pounds. I have lost another 10 pounds since we got married and started taking the medication again regularly like I'm supposed to and I'm now hovering at a weight I will not post on here. My doctor has told me he has all but maxed me out of the metformin medication and we have a few more options available before we need to get really concerned about not conceiving yet.

I know many that read this will be thinking that 5 or 6 months doesn't seem like that long of a time to try to have a child but because of my age it seems like it is forever. I know I'm not old in the big scheme of things, nor do I feel old but this is so frustrating to me. I am thrilled beyond words for friends, co-workers, cousins, etc that are pregnant or have had no issue getting pregnant. I know that many will say just quit worrying about it and it will happen...oh how I wish that was the case. For me, I'm actually pretty relaxed about the whole situation believe it or not. I keep telling myself that things will work out the way that we would want them to and to have faith and remember that Heavenly Father knows what He is doing.

As for what we are doing that is within our control that can help our chances. We have started working out in the mornings at the Pleasant Grove Rec Center. It's no surprise that I'm not a morning person and I'm not sure that I didn't snap at J.D. the first morning we went and worked out but once we got there and I started moving I felt great and had so much energy all day. I actually enjoy working out. I like the feeling of sore muscles because I know that I have done something good for me and my body that is causing it. I like challenging myself to push just a little harder to reach goals. I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband that is a morning person that keeps on me to get out of bed and go workout because that is going to help us in many ways. We laugh that the real trial of going to the gym is coming now because the cooler weather of fall and winter is about to set in. I think with each of us encouraging the other we can make it happen.

I won't lie and tell you that my heart doesn't ache just a little bit every time I see a baby or a pregnant woman. I know I'm a newlywed and and should be enjoying this time in our lives (which we are, please don't think we aren't) but it is my God given gift and responsibility to be a mother. I want nothing more than to hold a sweet baby in my arms and to be called mama. My sweet, J.D. comforts me when I get a little more than emotional about the whole subject and I couldn't ask for a better companion to go through this with. When I start doubting our chances of having children he assures me that everything will work out one way or another. I rest assured with that promise that one way or another we will have a child or children of our own to raise.

Please know I'm not sharing this because I want sympathy or anything like that. I wrote it to be brave because as Holly wrote in her blog...sharing with others from your own experience can help someone else. Also, since you know of our experience and you have gone through something similar please share it with me...there is strength in numbers, right?

Until next time...

Friday, September 25, 2009

50 Life Lessons

I'm a blog stalker...I have admitted it before and I'm admitting it again. While participating is such activities tonight I came across this on Cama Cathrae's photography blog. I love the lessons that it teaches in really, very few words. The complete list is below.

As for those looking for an update to our blog about what's happening in our PG world...life is great! JD is busy with work and is looking into grad programs so he can get his master's degree and fulfill his desire to work as a software engineer. I am so proud of him and how hard he has worked and continues to work to provide for our family. I am so lucky.

I just finished my 5th week of school at UVU and I'm still enjoying it but it's going by really fast. I always feel like I'm behind but I'm fairly happy with how I'm doing. I can work harder but I'm learning and each week gets better. I'm still trying to decide where to apply to nursing school when the time comes but I have a little bit of time before I'm going to need to worry about that.

We took a trip to Yellowstone Park a few weeks ago and if I had the time to make a slide show I would share some pictures from our trip. It was JD's first time to Yellowstone Park and he enjoyed it- as did I. It was nice to get out of town, just the two of us, and enjoy a little mini vacation together. We had a few laughs especially about our accomodations in Island Park and enjoyed a fun night at Mack's Inn Playhouse...even more laughs there.

We just got a membership to the PG Rec Center so we can work out together. I am so proud of JD. He has lost 50 lbs in the last year. He didn't seem to believe me when I would tell him he was shrinking but when we needed to get him new dress pants and had to get pants that were 4 inches smaller he FINALLY believed me. Way to go sweetheart, I'm so proud of you!

50 LIFE LESSONS written by Regina Brett, when she turned 50.
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Until next time...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Our Labor Day weekend Adventures...

Last weekend we decided to get out of town and enjoy the long weekend and went to Yellowstone. We had so much fun. We were amazed how refreshing it was to just be away from everything and spend time together. It was the first time J.D. had been to Yellowstone Park and I don't think I had been in 3-4 years. We stayed at Sawtelle Resort in Island Park on Saturday and Sunday night and drove home Monday.
We planned on leaving on Saturday morning at 6 am so we could get up to Rexburg in decent time so we could go to a session at the Rexburg temple. Well I like to sleep and I'm especially not a morning person so we actually got on the road at 7:20. We were so good and packed food in the cooler to help save money on the trip and so we wouldn't have to buy anything on Sunday while we were in the Park. We got just past the point of the mountain between Utah and Salt Lake Counties and I asked J.D. if he remembered all of his church clothes so we could change when we go to Rexburg. Nope he forgot them but had remembered to pack his shoes and we both had our temple bags. He suggested we just turn around and go get them but we were already 20 minutes down the road and I really don't like to backtrack. (I think it may secretly drive J.D. crazy but he puts up with it.) So we decided when we go to Idaho Falls we would just go to the mall and pick up a new pair of dress pants, shirt and tie.

While at the mall I was able to get a few new shirts using a gift card that was left from our wedding too. I've been wanting to get some new shirts but didn't want to spend the money so it was a nice treat. Anyway, we decided to go to the distribution center in Rexburg to get a shirt for him. He likes the way they fit and let's be honest they are less expensive than the mall for a nice white dress shirt. We drove to Beaver Dick Park in Rexburg to change...we found a secluded little drive at the back of the park so we could change and not have to go into the stinky bathrooms, which I told JD I wouldn't use since I could easily change in the car. Once we got to the park we realized that we had forgot to get the shirt too. So after we changed, J.D. only partially obviously we made a quick trip to the distribution center and got the shirt. We didn't think about it with all of a masterful planning that the shirt was coming out of a package that had been folded for quite some time and it would be wrinkled. UGH...seriously I was beyond frustrated with all of this by now. So I called google information and found the only dry cleaner in Rexburg but they weren't answering the phone. I couldn't imagine them being closed on a Saturday so we drove to where they are and they were closed BUT there was a laudromat next door so we threw the shirt in the dryer with a moist cloth and viola! perfect (enough) white shirt!
We drove up to the temple thinking we were going to miss the 2pm session and J.D. was sure he read the sessions were only every hour so we were racing to get in and get ready. Luckily when we got there we found out they start every 15 minutes. Heavenly Father blessed us for sure! I am so grateful for a good husband that is so diligent about temple attendance. We haven't missed a week since he recieved his endowments.
After the temple we made our way to Island Park where we were staying the weekend at Sawtelle Resort. We checked into the hotel and were a little more than surprised by the absolutely accurate description I had been given of our "economy" room. When booking the rooms they had standard rooms available and economy rooms available. I asked what the economy room included and I was told: a bed, microwave, TV, bathroom with shower. They weren't kidding. When we walked into the room we both started laughing. We said we needed to take a picture but completely forgot. We just wanted to check- in before going to Mack's Inn Playhouse to see 'Less Miserables' (obviously a play on the name of Les Miserable". It was absolutely fantastic. If I can get pictures uploaded you will see the woMAN that stole the show....HEEEYYYLOOOOO!


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I forgot how frustring this can be...

I'm trying to register for classes at UVU this week and it is so frustrating. I have only registered for one class (Math) and all the others that are during the time that will work for my schedule are full...grrr. The life of a serial procrastinator...seriously classes start next week. I guess I can't beat myself up too bad since I didn't FINALLY decide to go to school this semester until late last week.

On a side note...I miss my hubby right now. He had to go to work at 1:30 AM for a programming release. Since I'm a newlywed still I can get away with being lonely when he isn't home. Usually I tell him he is a bed hog but seriously I miss having him next to me when I'm tossing and turning during the night. Plus he can rub mineral ice on my sore back after a long shift (for me that is 6 hours doing massage in a day- typically my max is 5 hours but I pushed it last night and I'm feeling it now) at work.- did I mention I am in need of a good massage but I'm holding out until my friend Sinead gets back from Scotland and Rome because she is awesome and I want to feel better when I get off the table.

Well I better get back to searching for classes...wish me luck!

Until next time...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Going CrAzY!!

Until August 26 that is...then I begin classes at UVU in preparation for applying to nursing school at UVU and many other schools.
The idea of having a break is something I should enjoy I suppose but I am really struggling. Apparently I need to get a hobby or something because I feel like I'm going crazy. I am working only part time at Massage Envy and Advanced Dental. The schedule at the dentist's office is so inconsistent it about drives me batty but what am I to do, right? Well I think we have come up with a solution...courtesy of my sweet husband who can't stand to see me unhappy for even a second- how lucky am I??!! Apparently I am happier (and I'm guessing more fun to be around) when I am busy. J.D. calls it a busy body but I'm not sure I'm so fond of that description...I just like being busy. How does the saying go. "Idle hands is the devil's workshop."...ok so maybe I'm not that bad but I do get annoyed having nothing to do all day while J.D. is at work. He has suggested that I write the thank you notes for our wedding gifts (great idea since we have been married 4 months now...I'm on the ball) or to work on family history since that is something that I am feeling like I need to get to work on, especially with my dad's side of the family. Both great ideas and something I should be doing of course but I still sit at home and stare at the wall and go crazy. So the solution we have come up with to "fix" my crazy problem (at least this one) is ...I am looking for full time employment (again)working in an office. I will still be practicing massage so my schooling won't be a waste (not that it would ever be if you ask me) but I will likely end up working only on Saturday's at Massage Envy or maybe every other Saturday or in my ideal world just do outcall to my personal clients so I can still use those mad massage skills that I have now and not lose them.

Ideally I would love to work in a medical office or hospital so I can be in the environment that I will be working in once I am a nurse. I have applied for several jobs but nothing has happened as of yet- granted it has been about a week only. However, today while searching the help wanted ads I found a job at Provo College in the nursing department for an administrative assistant...wowza! I immediately applied for the job and have had an nearly constant prayer in my heart that I will at the very least get an interview. One of the many cool things about this job is it is right across the street from J.D.'s office in Provo. Would it not be awesome to be able to ride to work together everyday?? I know I would love it and so would he. I am going to take the time tomorrow to stop by their campus and take a tour and just see what Provo College is all about. I have know a couple of people that went through the nursing program there and as far as I remember they didn't have any complaints. It may be in more ways than one an answer to our prayers. I still need to take some pre-req classes at UVU- Biology, Chemistry, Sociology, and (UGH) Math but I am determined to make this happen and get these classes done so I can apply to nursing school and be done- at least for now.

well time to go...more next time on J.D.'s for trip to the temple and other things we have been up to.

Until next time...

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Good things and good times

UCMT Masters Class D118MP

Just yesterday I finished massage therapy school...well the Master's massage classes anyway. There is no going back to UCMT now- I've taken all the classes that are offered there. I would love to go back as a teacher's assistant at some point but it doesn't look like that is in the cards at for the next quarter that starts on Monday.

I have to admit the past 10 weeks have been tough. I learned so much that has made me a better therapist. There were classes I struggled with because the principle behind them fought with my beliefs to a certain degree and I didn't like it. It did make me think outside the box a little bit but honestly I'm so glad I don't have to fight that battle anymore. I'm also pleased to announce I got an A in the class even though I didn't like it. I am still waiting for the grade in the last final that I took yesterday afternoon but I'm confident I didn't get less than a B in the class which I am thrilled about.

I was disappointed that I wasn't able to do the Master's classes with my classmates from the Professional massage program I graduated from in March but it actually turned out better because I was able to work with new people. I loved being in a group of people that all love massage therapy and bodywork and weren't just looking for a quick "career" fix to hold them over until something better comes along or maybe just didn't get it. It was so refreshing to be challenged to be better because of my classmates. They challenged me and for that I thank you all.

As previously written I am working at Massage Envy in Draper, UT and Advanced Dental in Provo, UT. I work on patients with TMJ dysfunction at the dental office and it is actually quite amazing to see the different that can be made and the classes I took give me even more tools to help them. I am looking for another job now as well...most likely with a chiropractor doing alignment therapy and massage.

I am still planning on continuing my education and pursue a degree in nursing. I have to take a CNA class first and that should happen the middle of August and I will likely give up a massage job to make it possible to work as a CNA and get experience there. (You have to do all you can to get accepted into nursing school.) I will also start classes at UVU in the fall...it got pushed back by a semester because of the master's classes I just finished but that's ok- it's all part of the big picture and goal I have in mind.

Last weekend, JD and I went to my dad's place in North Fork, ID for a semi- family reunion. My Uncle David and Aunt Katie and all of their kids came up, even Andy who now lives in Baltimore, as well as Lisa's son, Cody and his girlfriend Kylie. We had so much fun floating the Salmon River and just sitting around laughing and eating yummy food. Dad got some amazing steaks from Pete's in Salmon (if you ever have a chance get them...YUMMO) plus he made his amazing salsa. I love that stuff and can't ever make it like dad does.
Here are a few pictures from the weekend...or not because I don't have the patience to fight with the uploading of them right now. If you want to see them you can take a look at my facebook page.


Overall life is good. JD and I are so happy and doing well. We have been married for 4 months now and it seems like so much has happened since we got married. The biggest and most exciting news is J.D. will be going to the temple to receive his endowments on Saturday. We are so excited that this day is finally here. He was ordained an Elder a couple of weeks ago by our former Branch President, Winston Scoville. I am so proud of J.D. and all that he does to honor his responsibilities and to take care of our family. He is an amazing man and I count my blessings everyday that I get to spend the rest of forever with him.

Until next time...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

What we've been up to...

These pictures are a little bit dated but I wanted to post them and show you some of the fun things we have done together since we got married...besides going to work and school.

Well our computer is being slow so after going through the pictures I will just tell you and have to upload the pictures later...or make a slide show if I can figure out how to make that happen.

Anyway, for JD's birthday, April 15 I took him to a Jazz game on the weekend before his birthday. It was so much fun. I splurged and got nicer seats than we could typically afford but it was worth it. My hubby is a Jazz fan so we got him a new hat at the game too. We had a lot of fun even though the Jazz lost the game.

Easter was somewhere in the mix off all of this and we had our first holiday meal together since we got married. Ham, funeral potatoes, asparagus, deviled eggs and some kind of jello salad. We had enough food we could have fed our entire apartment building but instead we had yummy leftovers for a few days.


Thanksgiving Point Tulip Festival...BEAUTIFUL! We had so much fun walking around the gardens at Thanksgiving Point. I have played golf there on several occasions and had driven past the gardens and always wanted to go and see the whole thing. It was $10 per person to get in but in my opinion well worth the money. We got there later in the day so the vendors they have set up were leaving when we got to them but the walk around and the beautiful scenery is why we went. I think that will become a yearly tradition.

For my birthday, JD surprised me with a night at the Anniversary Inn in Salt Lake City and dinner at our favorite restaurant Biaggi's at the Gateway. Yumm-o food and a serious getaway right in the middle of Salt Lake City. We will be making trips back there too. If you have never stayed at one I would recommend it.

JD and I met Tiffany and Ryan and a couple that they know at Hogle Zoo one very sunny Saturday afternoon and wandered around the zoo for several hours. Bless Tiff's heart she was nearing due date time with her sweet babe and I think she was hoping the walking around would help start labor. Unfortunately it didn't but we had a good time. I hadn't been to the zoo since I was about 10 or 11 and they just opened the Madagascar exhibit. They had a cockroach you could touch. I did it but it made my skin crawl for the next little bit..YUCK! I don't know how people handle living around those yucky creatures.

After the zoo, JD and I decided to drive up through Park City and through Provo Canyon to get home. I had applied for a job at Spa in Park City and we wanted to clock it to see how long it would take me to drive to and from work if I got the job. Anyway, we drove to Kimball Junction then up into Park City then drove past Jordanelle Reservoir and Heber City. Just past Heber we saw another reservoir and some parasurfers (I guess that is what they would be called) on the water. It was amazing to watch them. They can sure catch some air with those things. (PS I didn't get the job but it has actually worked out for the best.)

Ryan and Tiffany welcomed their beautiful little boy Rosten into the world. He is just a perfect addition to their family and Tiffany and Ryan are such cute parents. That little guy is definitely not lacking in love and affection from his mommy and daddy... or anyone else in the family for that matter. I love going to visit them and just holding that little angel...oh how blessed we are to have him in our family. Way to go Tiffany and Ryan!

When JD and I went for our drive through Park City we came across some picnic and park areas that we wanted to come back and visit so one Sunday after church we packed up some charcoal, burgers and such and headed up to enjoy the beautiful mountains near our house. It was so nice to get away from the noise of the city (even though Pleasant Grove isn't too bad, I love to hide away in the mountains and so does JD) and enjoy a nice picnic/BBQ. Thanks to my wonderful JD watching everything around us on our way home, we even got to see a moose. On our way home we also drove up to Squaw Peak. It has a beautiful overview of the valley and we enjoyed the drive up there. I would imagine the scene on the 4th of July is incredible but since I didn't really care for the drive (I hate heights and steep drop offs) I don't' know how soon we will go up there again.

In June we went to the open house of the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House with a guy that JD works with and his wife. I didn't think to take pictures when we got there and it was light outside so the pictures I have aren't great but they will serve as a memory for us. It really fascinated all of us that from that temple you could see the Draper and Jordan River temple so easily. If there weren't large buildings in the way it would be possible to see the Salt Lake temple too. We are so blessed to be so close to so many temples.

We were also able to enjoy the Pleasant Grove Strawberry Days festivities. We went to the rodeo a couple of nights- seriously some of the best rodeo I've ever seen. Let's not forget the free concert and FREE strawberries and cream they were giving out at the concert. I absolutely love this little town we live in. It is nestled right against the mountains and in the thick of a bunch of cities but you feel like you are away from it all at the same time. We are looking forward to many years celebrating with the city of PG.

I am just two weeks and one day away from finishing the Master Bodyworker classes that I started in May. It has been such an amazing experience going back and learning so much more than I thought possible. We truly did just scratch the surface in the professional program I graduated from in March. I am also working at Massage Envy in Draper and enjoy using the skills I learned in school. I enjoy the people I am able to come in contact with there but look forward to opening a private practice for massage therapy in the coming months. I am also working at Advanced Dental Care in Provo working with patients that have TMJ dysfunctions and migraines.

JD is still enjoying his job at DHI Computing Services and it seems he is busier everyday...thank goodness for job security! He is such a wonderful man and has such a gentle spirit. We are looking forward to him being ordained an Elder in the next few weeks and soon after being able to go to the temple. He is such a good example to me and I look forward to spending the rest of forever with him.

Until next time...